Just journaling November 15-22, 2009

November 15, 2009

Paul went to church this morning by himself. I think I am coming down with something. At least that would explain all of the sleep I have been doing lately. This morning I was coughing and sneezing. We have been asked to stay at home when we have some symptoms, so I did.

I put a pork roast in my crock pot this morning. It is starting to smell good. By the time Paul gets home from choir practice, dinner should be ready.

When teenagers are texting on the phone they create all kinds of short cuts. BFF means best friends forever. DH is dear husband. LOL is laughing out loud. MIL is the one for mother-in-law. I have been challenged to name my plant. The plant is called mother-in-law because of its sharp pointed leaves. Now, my mother-in-law is sweet and kind so I had to laugh at the name. Anyway, I have taken calling my plants Millie. I just use the shortcut for mother-in-law and went from there. The Millies is doing great. New growth has shown up again. I am really amazed at my plants.

My son, his girlfriend brought Kathy over. Kathy will be staying for a few days. Kathy was a little clingy to her dad, but when he left, she was fine.

We ate a yummy dinner and spent time with Kathy. It was a good Sunday.

November 16, 2009

Kathy was up very early this morning. She was very clingy all day. You know she isn’t feeling well when Grandma is her favorite person. I sat at the table and she pulled her chair up right next to me. I couldn’t even get out of my chair. And so it went all day.

I fixed her lunch and we tried to get her to sleep. She slept for just a little while and then she was up. I had gone to bed for a nap and she climbed in bed with me. That would have been the end of my nap, but Paul took her into the living room and I got 45 minutes of uninterrupted rest.

My sister called today. As it gets closer to the holidays, she gets busier. The wind was blowing pretty hard and she had to go and rescue some signs that were in her yard.

Paul and Kathy started to watch the Santa Clause movies. By the end of the evening she had watched all three. She went off to bed with ease. Grandpa gets to put her to bed. We are always surprised at how easy she goes to sleep at night



November 17, 2009

Kathy was up and ready to go very early this morning. I feed her breakfast and we spent some time playing. My sister gave her a movie and we watched it this morning, The Tigger Movie. She played with legos, put puzzles together, colored and kept her eye on the TV all at the same time. I guess she is a multi tasker.

Kathy hears the train and always asks what that? I just ask her the same question. Usually she shrugs her shoulders. Today she said, train. Then she acted like she was pulling a whistle on the train and woo woo. I think she must have learned a lot of new words this week.

Kathy had a really rough night. She is just not feeling well. I think she had a bad dream, she woke up very upset. I took a chair into her room and sat with her as she tried to go back to sleep. She finally got back to sleep around three in the morning.

November 18, 2009

Kathy didn’t get up until almost ten. Because we are using her as our alarm clock, we didn’t get up until 10. Paul and I have shifted our schedule a lot. We stay up late and then sleep late. Usually when Kathy is here I have an early morning, but Paul gets to sleep in.

With Paul going back to school this January I am afraid he might have some trouble shifting back to a normal schedule. Maybe we should start now. We don’t want him sleeping through the morning classes.

Today was payday. We left about the time for Kathy’s lunch. We went to Burger King. Kathy loves to play on the slide there. It is too cold to play outdoors today. Kathy ate what she had to eat to be able to play but she wasn’t very hungry.

Her time in the Play yard was different today too. She was not as enthusiastic as usual. She climbed through the maze and went down the slide a couple of times. We realized she just isn’t up to par, so we left early. Kathy was sad to leave, but we really didn’t want to overtax her.

We bought my supplements, and headed to Wal-Mart. Kathy decided to go with Grandpa today in the store. She wanted to be in the bottom of the cart and my cart fills up and she has to sit in the seat. So she and Grandpa took off to explore the store. Star Trek VI is out and I told Paul that was our treat if he can find it. He found it.

We finished in the store, bought gas and we are done spending money for the week. Paul was pretty blue that we can do so little with the money coming in. I am just grateful that there is still money coming.

Paul looks for work all of the time. He realizes more and more the blessing he has by getting to go back to school. Jobs that he has done before are now requiring Bachelors. He could do the work, but with the hoards of unemployed, employers are requiring more schooling. It is a little scary that our income will drop more after school starts, but you do what you have to be employable again.

We were all pretty tired from our excursion out today. We ate leftovers and watched TV. Kathy went to bed and slept quietly all night.

November 19, 2009

Kathy is feeling so much better today. How do I know? My living room is covered with toys. She is running back to her room for more. The legos are all in their wagon, but the wagon is in the kitchen, just in case I need to be there, she will have something to do when she is supervising me.

I put her in a little dress today. She loves dresses. She loves to twirl and sway and hold your hand and dance. I taught her a little dance today and she caught on very fast. My sister will know this dance. Put your little foot, put your little foot, put your little foot right there.

I showed her how to point her to her foot and tap right there. I taught her that you do it once with one foot and then once with the other foot. Then the song goes on Then you touch and you turn and touch and you turn and you touch and you turn, see how easy to learn.

She spent the remainder of the morning holding the hem of her dress and pointing her toes. And of course at the end of the dance, she remembered to curtsey.

Kathy’s dad came and got her a day early. She finally is feeling better. I am so very glad. I hate to see her not feel well.

Tonight Paul and I rested and watched TV.

I went to bed early. I am going to try to get back on schedule.

November 20, 2009

Well, going to bed early didn’t work out. I tossed and I turned. Then when I finally got to sleep, I had a nightmare. The dream really shook me up, so I got up and went to the office and surfed the internet for a while. Then I went back to bed and slept fitfully. I got up to eat breakfast and realized that a cold had finally caught me. I was really grumpy. I went back to bed.

Paul enrolled at the University today. He will have to go to the school Monday to fill out some more papers. He asked me at 2:00 if I was getting out of bed. NO, I AM NOT. I was grumpy.

But I had made arrangements to go and visit a couple of young ladies with another lady from church, so I got out of bed, took my shower and got ready, all of the time thinking that I would call and cancel my appointment.

Paul and I left a little early so that we could stop by the Verizon store and change our phone numbers to a local number. We have a house phone, but we have only received a handful of calls on it, so we decided to drop the phone. Paul wanted a local number to give the University.
Then he took me to visit the young ladies.

I really enjoyed the visit. I got to know the lady that had asked me to go along as well as to get to know the two we had visited. Just as we were getting ready to leave I asked if there was anything that we could do. I won’t go into to details, but the one is going through a horrible experience and she needed a ride for her and her daughter Monday. She wasn’t sure of the address, she has no phone and no car. I had her give me a number to call to verify the address. I hadn’t taken my phone with me or I would have just let her call right then.

When I got home I called the number, but because of confidential reasons, I could not be given any information. She will have to call Monday for that information before we leave to go to the appointment.

We had a quick dinner and got ready for a dance. It was a church dance being held at a historic hotel in Sedalia. The lobby of the hotel was elegant, and ready for Christmas. The dance was being held on the second floor in the Grand Ball Room.


We had a good time at the dance. It is really a good thing that we ate before going to the dance. There was suppose to be a table set up with food and drink. It was never delivered. The Stake President kept checking to see if it had been delivered yet, but when we left toward the end of the dance, still no buffet. Someone ran home and got a big container of water and brought cups, so everyone could rehydrate after dancing. But even with the glitch we had a very good time. We met a couple of interesting people and dance a few times. It was a good night.

November 21, 2009

First thing I did after breakfast was to go over to the lady’s house and give her the information, or actually the lack of information. I made arrangements to go to her house Monday and let her use the phone to get the information herself. Then Paul and I will take her and her daughter to the appointment.

Today we went exploring. I had seen an old house on line in the town just east of us and I wanted to see if we could find it. Plus we had never really explored Knob Noster. I don’t make up these names really. This is a quaint little town with lots of old homes. The surprise is that we found the one we were looking for. I guess it helped that Knob Noster is a very small town. We had a good outing; it was really nice to get out of the house two days in a row.

I have wonder about this name Knob Noster. So I looked it up. There are two small hills or knobs just outside of town. It was the landmark that you looked for back in the 1800’s to find this town. The word Noster is Latin meaning ours. Originally the town was really called Our Town, but was changed to Knob Noster in the early 1900’s. The name translates into Our Hills.

I worked in the kitchen today. It took so long to accomplish the little that I did. I have a baker’s rack in the kitchen and we had the microwave on the biggest shelf. Kathy was able to reach it and it worried me. So we moved the microwave up onto a smaller shelf. I have a couple plastic drawers with sandwich bags and wrapping paper and stuff in one and packages of noodles in the other. We put these on the bottom shelf. I have smaller plastic drawers to hold cooking utilizes. One more smaller drawer to hold the silverware. They went on the main shelf. This maneuvering left enough counter space to use my electric skillet or have my crock pot going when I want it on. This small kitchen will eventually be organized.

We finally watched the Star Trek movie. It helps that we are both fans of Star Trek, but the movie was great. We saw this on the big screen in Vancouver on our trip home this summer. We enjoyed it as much today as we did last summer.

November 22, 2009

We didn’t make it to church. Paul woke up and now he is not feeling well. He woke me to tell me he was staying home. My leg is bothering me so much that driving myself was out of the question, so we both went back to sleep.

We both got up later for breakfast. I played on the computer, wrote letters and read stories.
After a little while Paul had to go back to bed. I am going to go and read Cami’s book 29 days of giving. Today it finally dawned me that all three of us have been at various stages of some kind of flu. Kathy and I are starting to feel a little better. I still feel weak and tired, but I think it, whatever it is, finally hit Paul.

The World Needs Warrior of Light

Today being 9/11 I have been pondering the state of the world. I have been remembering that horrific day and the chaos that followed. I have been praying for all that were affected by those acts. I have been praying for the leaders of the world that their actions help heal rather than inflame.

It is frustrating to see so many complain of one man’s view against their own. I have actually seen in print that someone is the devil because they do not share the correct view, or the author’s view.

Man creates disharmony. Because of this disharmony the earth’s vibration is so low and needs to be raised by those of light, like you.

I believe that it is fear that causes this disharmony. It is the same fear that makes man want to be the only Creation worth the Creator’s time. The only way is their inflexible view of life. This tunnel vision hurts the earth’s march to light. Rigid views have always been a call to war.

The human race has become hard and rigid. The earth would be a Utopia except for man. The difficulty in knowing that a Utopia or paradise will be here on the Earth someday is that you have to believe, you have to prepare for that possibility. We that are here now are the markers of the way. We are Warriors of Light.

I don’t want to put you off by calling those who are leading the way to a better world, Warriors. I don’t mean it in a combative way. I mean it as a badge of honor; we will forge the way for others to follow.

So the question is what now? The change has started. I see it all over. I see it in the 29 Day Gift Challenge site. I have watched as the different people go from sullen and sad to joyful and playful. I see it when I teach Reiki and send more into the quest for light. I see it at church. I see it with the children being born now. They are children of light.

This is indeed a small world. If we can shine just a little light, soon the world will be glowing. I believe we can make a difference. I believe that as we connect and light the world, the world will begin to change.

The answer is you. You are a pioneer; you will be forging the way. You are Warriors of Light

Love and Light is not just the way I sign my name. It is the way forward.

Love and Light
Elly Rose

In Honor of My Grandmother

I can’t place a first memory of my Grandma but I know that she always had a smile, a hug and a kind word.

She bore 8 children, one died as an infant, Raymond, and one, Hazel, died a mature lady of cancer just a few years before Grandma died.

Grandma’s life was hard and tedious with many trials, yet she never complained of unfairness. She had a quiet faith in God and his love. No matter what life could hand her, she handled life with patience and love. Early memories of her were in her home, where I felt like a guest of honor. A box of toys for her grandchildren sat ready in the corner. She loved crafts, parties, wrestling, her children and her grandchildren unconditionally.

As I grew up I found a true friend and confident in Grandma. Her wisdom and counsel stemmed from her simple faith.

My Grandmother Elsie taught me many things. Once when I was about 12 she and I were out eating at a restaurant. I said, wow that lady is so pretty. She said, tell her that. I argued with her, I was twelve and knew everything. The lady already had heard that many times. It would be rude for me to talk to her. She didn’t care what I said. Grandma told me then that a compliment not said is no compliment. Shyly I went to her table, just knowing she would yell at me. I stood there, shaking, and told her that I thought she was very pretty. The lady hugged me and cried. I hadn’t expected that. I was surprised. This beautiful lady had decided that no one ever saw her, she was depressed. Had I kept my compliment to myself, I would have never seen such an instant response to words said in kindness.

Grandma also taught me to be gracious when receiving a gift. On my birthday, toward the end of Grandma’s life she gave me money. Now I didn’t need the money. She did though, so I tried to not take the gift. She told me that she had been saving up for this moment, and I was not to ruin it with my pride. She asked me to let her have the dignity to give what she knew she could give. She told me she needed the blessing that came from giving and asked that I would not be a part in withholding the blessing from her. She asked me always to remember that when we are receiving a gift, our attitude in acceptance was a gift itself.

The first time that I saw her courage and understood that it was courage that I was observing was when Grandpa had died after a lingering illness.
At his memorial service Grandma was suffering so intensely, but even in her pain she worried about the family. Family was so important to her. She didn’t ever say that. Her actions, her unconditional love, her concern about her family showed how important family was to her.

After Grandpa died, I started visiting Grandma regularly. Of all my family, when I became pregnant with my daughter, Grandma never judged and she continued to love. We would go shopping. I’d drive her to the stores, and then she would take me for lunch at the King’s Table. She’d talked about family, always the good things, and plans she had. She loved Grandpa and always shared the good memories of him. I knew from my mother that there were many sad memories and hard times, but Grandma only told me of the love that she had for Grandpa, her children and her grandchildren.

Grandma loved wrestling. Every Saturday night at 8:30 she would be in front of her TV. She would be watching wrestling. She really got excited and enjoyed the show.
On her 83rd birthday I took her to the arena to see the midget wrestlers. She yelled and screamed, quite softly and then smiled. One time she met Johnny War Eagle. She shook his hand, and then smiled. She had been honored to meet this man. She smiled for a long time.

I remember Grandma working at her crafts. She decided what she was giving her own children and grandchildren for Christmas. Then she went to work. She would make pillows and dollies and Afghans and hooked rugs for everyone. After Grandpa died Grandma finances were sharply cut. Her projects slowed. As her health deteriorated the projects stopped. It was then our turn to make her Christmas and other holidays special. One of the families would get a tree, and then we all would share our decorations with her.

Even after her radical mastectomy, one of the many surgeries that she endured in her life, Grandma had a cheerful face and a quiet happy spirit. She was a true example of enduring to the end. I never heard Grandma murmur about living so long or being in such poor health.

Shortly after her mastectomy I gave her a pink frilly nightgown and robe. My mother was horrified, what was I thinking giving a lady of Grandma’s age something as frivolous as that. It made perfect sense to me to give this gift. My grandma was always a queen in my mind, and this is what I thought a queen should wear. Grandma loved the gift and wore it often, she actually wore it out. She told me in confidence that it made her feel like the queen I believed she was.

When I was recuperating from a serious illness that left me unable to speak, Grandma would call me on the phone everyday and make me talk to her for an hour. She could not have understood anything that I was trying to say, but she understood how important it was that I continued to work on learning to talk again.
Grandma never let me despair or give up. She would often say:

Do your best
Leave the rest
It’ll come right
Some day or night.

I loved Grandma dearly and hold her sweet loving spirit close to me. She taught me many things, and many times when I feel like giving up, I hear her once again urging me to do my best.

Grandma died in a nursing home. She had suffered some kind of trauma and wasn’t able to speak, but she did try to speak to me when I went to say good bye. I didn’t understand what she said with my ears, but I knew with my heart that even in her pain and suffering she was trying to comfort me. The nurses told me she had not tried to speak to anyone, but she knew I would understand her since she had listen to me relearn the art of speech.

This grand lady taught me much about love of life and family. She was a queen up to the end of her life. I loved her so much and am looking forward to the day that we meet again. But I would never stop living life to the fullest here and now. She wouldn’t like that.

The Universe gave me a sense of belonging, to having a claim to greatness through my grandmother.

Journaling

November 7, 2009

Paul mowed the yard today for the first and last time. I think the grass has finally quit growing for the season. It has been a very long growing season for the grass.

I finally finished arranging the shelves in the office. The food is now all in order. That doesn’t sound like a big job, but it sure took me forever. Next item of business, the kitchen table, find it

We didn’t even leave the driveway today. It was a busy organizing day, another boring day.

I wrote my mother-in-law a letter. It is another long one. I think I am going to try to send shorter ones more often.

November 8, 2009

We got up on time and ready for church. It was the Children’s program today. That is always a sweet meeting. We stayed for the entire block.

When we got home we both took a nap. Paul left for choir practice. I am so glad that he is back in the choir. They are preparing for the Christmas program. I fixed a yummy stir-fry for dinner.

We watched Wild Hogs and had a few laughs. It was a very quiet day.

Kathy’s dad called and talked for a minute. His wife had called him today and spoke to Kathy. It is always hard on Kathy when she has any contact with her mom

November 9, 2009

We got up too late for the pool.

We got to take part in my son, the teacher’s family home evening. He asked that I gave the lesson and Paul played the guitar. It was fun to see the kids. They were really excited to be talking to us through Skype.

Paul travel expense check came in the mail. We were out of milk and bread, so that means nothing in the house. We went to Wal-Mart and bought what we could with the money. Now Paul has a few dollars in his pocket and we have bread in the house.

After visiting with my son the teacher and his family, my son, the FedEx driver called and I talked to my son, Kathy’s dad today.
We watched TV together tonight, yes we have become couch potatoes.

November 10, 2009

With much effort we were able to get up and go swimming. The pool is old and there are no steps down into the pool. You must go down a ladder to get into the pool and out the same way. There is a chair to lower someone into the pool that needs assistance, but it is out of order. An aerobic class was being held in the shallow part of the pool so we went to the deep end. It was 5 feet deep, meaning I couldn’t touch, but Paul was able to touch. We spent about 30 minutes moving in the water and then we went to the hot tub for a relaxing soak.

We got home and we both were extremely tired. I decided to rest for just a minute. Before I fell asleep my sister called. She was in the car waiting for her client to get back so we had a chance to talk. After she hung up I put on my earphones to listen to my healing meditation. I don’t remember even moving, I was asleep.

Today was the day before payday so we just kind of vegged at home. Paul made a yummy spaghetti dinner. You will never guess what we did tonight. Yep, it was a TV night for sure.
I did actually make Paul some cookies.

November 11, 2009

Paul’s check didn’t come. We had hoped it would be posted last night, but it wasn’t. We played on the computer and watched TV. We had enough gas to get to the station to buy gas, but until the check comes, we are at home. I have not really felt well all week. I sleep a lot.

November 12, 2009

Paul’s check was here, finally. He ordered my book, his gift to me and we ordered the CD’s of the Davici Brainwaves. Paul paid the cell phone bill. We ate at Subway in Wal-Mart before going shopping.

While shopping I try to keep track of what I am spending. I usually do pretty well. Wal-Mart had vegetables on sale so I bought 10 each of corn, beans and peas. I did notice that the cans are smaller. There is no longer 16 ounces in a can but 14.something. I picked up Marie Calendar’s sweet and sour chicken and rice and chicken pot pies. When we checked out I realized that we had spent too much, couldn’t even get gas at this point. Paul had gotten $20 change, so he put the twenty into the tank of the car.

When we got home, we checked the balance on the bank account. Zero. Ok, we are at home for the next week.

Paul and I were exhausted from the shopping trip. As soon as the groceries were in the house and I had put away all of the perishables, we took naps. See, I am sleeping a lot.

For dinner we had the sweet and sour chicken, and we, wait for it, we watched TV. We were on our computers for a while and then bed.

I sent my sister a twilight comment to myspace. She is a Twilight fanatic.

November 13, 2009

Kathy’s dad called this morning very upset. His wife’s lawyer filed a motion to have his attorney taken off of the case. She went to the attorney and asked for pro bono help with the divorce. The lawyer said no, but now she wants to use that to slow the divorce.

I talked and talked to my son today, one to calm him and two to make him understand that he should not talk to his wife or any of the people she lives with. If his wife needs him, she needs to go through the lawyer.

I talked to my sister; I had her look at the comment. I know that she doesn’t check myspace very often.

Tonight we had pot pies for dinner, Paul fixed them. We watched TV and I read a Jack Weyland book on line. It was very good. I read the entire book tonight. Well I started this afternoon and then read it all before bed. With our books still packed, and we have no place to unpack the books, the only books out are the Twilight Saga. Paul has been on a continuous loop with them, but I really needed something new to read.

I reminded Paul that it was his brother’s birthday and he called him. He left the message on the phone. His brother was not at home.

I have made a discovery, I like to blog. I am taking a break from the 29 gift site. I will drop in from time to time, but I have found it very hard to stay current with everything since we had such a surge in numbers. I really do enjoy the writing, and while I enjoy the comments of my friends, it hasn’t been the most important aspect of the experience. So I have decided to blog here. I have no followers and I expect none, except my sister.

She will read my blogs, but she wouldn’t sign up for a blog space herself, so I won’t be getting comments. I think my writing has become stale, so I am challenging myself to keep writing until it is interesting again.

November 14, 2009

This morning I woke at 6. I came into the computer and was checking out a few things when I read my horoscope for the day.


A whole bunch of explosive energy is on the way, so get ready for some fireworks! Today's frenetic energy will urge you to make some changes to your future goals. You'll also feel the need to associate with a whole new group of peers. If that's the case, try to ease away from your current crew gently -- or offer to take them along. Either way, you'll enjoy the momentum of new blood.

This just enforced my decision to start blogging here. I will add some of the stories that I have written before and then just keep my journal going.

When Paul checked the mail, my 29 Day Gift Book had arrived already. I will save it for tomorrow. It seems like a good way to spend a Sunday afternoon, curled up with a movie.

Paul and I took a ride in the country today. I like to get to know an area that I live in. So, we took off and rambled around the country side. It was a nice way to spend the afternoon.

Then we stopped at Wal-Mart for milk and came home for dinner. We watched some of the shows we had recorded, one more quiet evening watching Monk.

A student called and asked a few questions about Reiki. We will send her Reiki tonight before bed.

Tribute to My Dad

November 11, 2008

Today is Veterans’ Day. My Dad was a MM 1st Class in the Navy during WWII. It is my intention to share some about him.

I have never written about Dad. I am afraid that I wouldn’t be able to honor him in the way he should be honored. He was my hero, my confidant, my teacher, my conscious, and my rock. My Dad was a man of few words really. The words he said I took to heart.

He instilled in me many of my values by his example. He never missed a day of work. He was always the man to go see if you had some problems, he would listen. He never did anything unethical, let alone illegal. He was never knowingly unkind. I have seen him drive 50 miles one way to right a mistake that the store made in his favor. He always was calm. I knew he would always be there for me.

He was the most fair and equal parent I had ever known. He didn’t do the exact same thing for each of us. He explained we were all different; therefore he would do different things with each of us. But his time was equally divided. He went to all of my speech tournaments, all of my brother’s games, and supported my younger sister in her Girl Scout activities. I am not at all sure where he found all of the time to do what he did for us. He let us pick our activities and let us expand our minds and encourage us to use our hearts to choose the path we wanted to take.

He always supported his kids. I remember one particular day like it was a snapshot in my mind. Dad was sitting on the couch watching a football game. I was practicing, Boil, Boil toil and trouble for school. I was walking back and forth in the living room and using my best theater voice and gestures to get the part down right. My brother was playing the clarinet. He was standing in front of a mirror in the living room watching his favorite person in the world play. He was not yet playing well. My sister was just trying to talk to anyone. She is seven years younger than I am so of course she was annoying. She was describing her fabulous day at school, and didn’t mind the noise competition in the room. I stopped for a minute and looked at the scene in our living room. There was Dad moving his head around to see the game past his noisy children. I asked him if we should leave and let him watch his game. His answer was no. We were in the living room, living. That was where he wanted us, noise and all.

The Universe gave me my Dad, and I am forever grateful